last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
