It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize