Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
