I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize