I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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