How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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