Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
