Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
