How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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