It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
