the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
