How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
