If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
