There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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