Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
