6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
