they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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