there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
