I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
