I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
His hands were made for my vagina.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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