Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
