NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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