Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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