You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
