how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
