i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
