You can't motorboat a personality
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
why do cheetos always look like penises
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
