Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
