Already got asked if we're dating
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
