Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
