Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
