Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The power of my boobs compel you
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.