who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence