Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?

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(973): Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night? http://tfl.nu/mwh9

Replies (6) Good night (1710) Bad night (415)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.

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(412): we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents. http://tfl.nu/8scw

Replies (35) Good night (933) Bad night (3473)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.

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(252): He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm. http://tfl.nu/eaqz

Replies (58) Good night (2197) Bad night (6123)
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(818): View more from California

Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.

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(818): Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me. http://tfl.nu/23e4

Replies (35) Good night (1422) Bad night (3759)
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(813): View more from Florida

he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there

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(813): he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there http://tfl.nu/k2pn

Replies (14) Good night (6704) Bad night (939)
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(720): View more from Colorado

At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course

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(720): At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course http://tfl.nu/67cn

Replies (25) Good night (5078) Bad night (1014)
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(316): View more from Kansas

He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.

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(316): He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed. http://tfl.nu/yb8r

Replies (5) Good night (2304) Bad night (709)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.

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(702): Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament. http://tfl.nu/k9l6

Replies (8) Good night (1463) Bad night (597)
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(607): View more from New York

I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now

(315): View more from New York

I see you're taking unemployment seriously.

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(607): I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now (315): I see you're taking unemployment seriously. http://tfl.nu/5xru

Replies (3) Good night (2123) Bad night (501)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.

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(+61): I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in. http://tfl.nu/ilgv

Replies (9) Good night (2965) Bad night (506)
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(703): View more from Virginia

The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am

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(703): The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am http://tfl.nu/d51l

Replies (6) Good night (1636) Bad night (628)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.

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(412): I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine. (412): Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out. http://tfl.nu/kfiz

Replies (4) Good night (1513) Bad night (363)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.

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(563): I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused. http://tfl.nu/bg7n

Replies (6) Good night (580) Bad night (397)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.

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(720): I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left. http://tfl.nu/nrse

Replies (9) Good night (394) Bad night (535)
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(330): View more from Ohio

You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"

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(330): You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!" http://tfl.nu/8fdl

Replies (2) Good night (675) Bad night (195)

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