You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Omg the world wants us to be better people