he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
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she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
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I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!