great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
