It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
