"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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