I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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