Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
