I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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