i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
