Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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