i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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