i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
