i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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