Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
