I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
