i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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