The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i need to put some appletini on your dick
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
