dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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