Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize