just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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