no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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