She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My pussy is not your playground.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I am naked and annoyed.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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