I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
