We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
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They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
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Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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