We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
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i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
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Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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