Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
