dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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