this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
