Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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