You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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