She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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