3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
