his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
